By Vladimir Putin
What you think, you think correctly : Russians are beloved of our pranks and humour.
As KGB officer and agent, espionage is like practical joke – the camera is candid, and you are on it!
For example: you are foreign official or leader of a country. We set up a hidden camera and we film the reaction as you are approached by a beautiful woman, way out of your league.
Here you have man with suit like potato sack and shoes from gulag.
Yet when Svetlana approaches them – woman with a body like Bolshoi Ballerina, brain like Alexandra Glagoleva-Arkadieva – they think “of course she must truly love me.”
As we like to say in KGB – I mean FSB – In America, Dunning Krugers you!
Consider joke:
Grigori, Russian Peasant, performs good work in the eyes of God.
God tells him, “Grigori, your toil will be rewarded – but know this: whatever you wish for, I will give twice as much to your neghbour.”
Grigori scratches his chin and considers, before answering, for his neighbour is a man whom he despises with every fiber of his being.
“Lord,” says Grigori, “Pluck out one of my eyes!”
Cruelty and vengeful spite so simple and true can only spark joy!
Or so I once believed. But we also know that without discipline and restraint. There are games, and there are fun – then eye gets gouged out with thumb, polonium goes in wrong drink, no one loosens frame before defenestration.
Jokes can go too far, even for KGB. Even for Russia.
I kid! Trump 2028!
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