An interview with the Ultimate Insider: The worm from RFK Jr’s brain.
ABOVE: an image generated by Google Gemini AI.
BY SOCIAL TRUTH EDITOR-AT-LARGE, TYRONE GLEASON
In my decades of ground-breaking interviews and journalistic scoops, I never imagined something like this. There’s always a rush to being the first to break a story, but this is a true first: an exclusive interview with the worm in the brain of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
For myself, it’s a humbling moment in a career that has seen so many of them. And in this case, the worm in RFK Jr’s Brain reached out to Social Truth – and more particularly me. All those of years of carefully curated interviews and being an internationally mobile editor-at-large had now paid off, The parasitic worm, which has only ever feasted on human blood and brain meat, had been particularly impressed by the sensitive way I had handled a political profile on Roy Cohn.
My apprehension was unprecedented. My hands trembles as I contemplated the first every interview with witness to history with “front-al lobe” seats to RFK Jr’s every single private moment, without respite, ever.
THE WORM: Yes, every nanosecond of my existence has been an absolute living hell .
TG: Hold on. I’m not finished. That’s why it’s my honour to deliver this SOCIAL TRUTH exclusive to the world.
WORM: Thank you Tyrone for giving me the opportunity to share my side of the story. It’s been really hard. I mean, how would you feel if you were born in someone else’s brain, then got blamed for all the crazy things they did and said. I mean, do you really think that’s fair?
TG: What’s it like living in RFK Jr.’s brain?
WORM: Well, this may sound hard to believe, but it’s kind of like trying to fly a drone when you don’t know what you’re doing. So you know, you’re really basically reading his thoughts and feeling his experiences 24/7, and trying to do what I can to influence it. You have about 7 seconds of control and then it immediately goes off the rails or into a bush or whatever.
Like, first of all, did it ever occur to anyone that I was trying to moderate some of this stuff. You would not believe the stuff I prevented! What you are getting is MILD compared to what he actually things about.
I can really only explain the mental anguish as being a combination of Malcolm Maclaren having his eyes held open in a Clockwork Orange, if he were also simultaneously being dunked repeatedly into the surface of the sun.
“You think I get to pick whose brain I end up in?”
TG: Malcolm Maclaren? The Sex Pistols’ Promoter? How so?
WORM: Sorry, Malcolm MacDowell. I always make that mistake.
TG: So do I.
WORM: Anyway, being blamed for what he does when I am the one trapped in his head – this is the ultimate in adding to insult to injury. Of all the brains in all the vertebrates in the word, I get the guy who says doing heroin improved his grades and talks about how he used to snort cocaine off toilet seats to explain why people shouldn’t be worried about germs.
Who was that guy who was ahead in the polls 20 years ago? And was deemed “unpresidential” because he made a weird noise in a microphone? From New England?
TG: Howard Dean. Yeah, at one rally, he basically made a cowboy scream and it all went down the toilet.
WORM: It’s unbelievable how standards have dropped. You have something like that – so trivial. Now you have people openly committing crimes. There were scandals in the past where people went down for the right reason.
TG: Like Watergate? You’ve been working on that for a while.
WORM: Exactly, like Watergate. Now, if you do something f**ked up and you face consequences, it’s called being cancelled, not taking responsibility or being held accountable. If you spend all your time online saying things that would get your head kicked in at a bar, don’t be surprised when you get your comeuppance.
And I think we should consider that all of this had been a response to Watergate, by Nixon’s goons and compatriots – to make sure that the media would never take down another president.
TG: Were you always so political?
WORM: I’m not radical, but I’ve been radicalized. Parasites don’t vote as a bloc. I’ve been a registered Independent for a while now.
TG: When did you realize that the brain you were living in was different?
WORM: Bear in mind that even at the larval stage, I was very advanced. So about a week to ten days.
I had an exclusive perch. Unlike everyone else hearing him from the outside, I wasn’t on the receiving end.
I was seeing all the stuff before it went out. And I was thinking, “I’m no expert – but even I can see this makes no sense.”
Like, if it’s obvious to the parasitic worm living in RFK JR’s head, how can other people not be seeing this?
TG: Yet RFK Jr blamed you himself, didn’t he?
WORM: He did. I have to sit there in court, in his head, and listen to him say – and I quote – “I have cognitive problems, clearly” and “severe brain fog” then says ““was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died.”
TG: Yet here you are.
WORM: Yet here I am. But he also blamed it on all the mercury he was eating in tuna fish sandwiches. He tells the court, “I loved tuna fish sandwiches. I ate them all the time,” and of course some doctor backed him up.
It’s never Bobby Jr’s fault, oh no. It’s the tuna, or the heroin, or the mercury.
Where’s the personal responsibility?
TG: Now – I know this is a sensitive subject – but just how much of his brain did you eat?
WORM: That’s toxic Kennedy entitlement speaking. I didn’t need to eat his brain for nourishment when I could survive on the nutrient-rich blood. People need to understand – that’s a myth.
TG: Yet you say you were able to control his thoughts or his actions – don’t you feel you share some responsibility?
WORM: This isn’t Ratatouille. It’s like steering an oil tanker in a Category 5 Hurricane.
TG: So you’re not in control?
WORM: I don’t feel responsibility for what he’s done, but I do feel guilt and shame over all the things I’ve tried and failed to prevent.
Absolutely. Some of these things you can see coming from a mile away – it’s watching a dashcam video of a highway pile up. Like that whole Kid Rock thing?
Who thinks it’s a good idea to project a vibe of a VHS tape found in one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s crawlspaces? It’s like watching a porn parody without the porn.
TO BE CONTINUED. IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, the WORM in RFK Jr’s Head dishes on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and Seinfeld Creator Larry David: “He’s not funny.”
